Pineapple Party
by cherryade
Summary: "Steven," he began as he placed the bags as far away as possible from the objects of his horror. "Why are there two pineapples sitting on your kitchen counter?"


**A/N: I live a day's plane journey (more like 16+ hours including layover actually) away from where this show originated from so although I've done my research, I apologise for anything I may have presented wrongly.**

Danny stepped into Steve's kitchen, arms laden with bags of groceries, and froze.

"Steven," he began as he placed the bags as far away as possible from the objects of his horror. "Why are there two pineapples sitting on your kitchen counter?"

"I said I was making pizza, didn't I?" Steve replied from his position near the kitchen sink which, incidentally, was also the place in the kitchen that was furthest from Danny and nearest to the knives.

"Yes," Danny said as calmly as he possibly could. "But you also said you wouldn't be putting any fruit on it."

"I did?" Steve said, his face a picture of perfect innocence. "When did I say that?"

"Last week, Steve. In the Camaro. When we were planning Gracie's birthday party." He was going to stay calm. Oh yes, Danny Williams was, for once in his life, going to stay calm.

"Must've slipped my mind," Steve replied cheerfully. He snatched one of the bags off the counter and began removing his pizza-making ingredients.

"Must've- must've slipped your mind?" Danny exploded as he poked at one of the pineapples with a finger. "Fruit does not belong on pizza, Steven! It belongs in dessert, in pies, in your alcohol if you prefer it that way. Fruit. Does. Not. Belong. On. Pizza." He punctuated his last few words with individual jabs to the innocent pineapple. It rocked back and forth before tumbling off the table. Steve bent down and picked up the pineapple, careful to keep Danny in his line of sight in case he decided to pull his firearm on him.

"Danny," Steve started as he set the pineapple on the table. "Grace goes to a local school."

"Wha-"

"No, let me finish." He raised a hand to stop Danny from speaking and his partner fell sullenly silent. "Now, Grace goes to a local school. Therefore, it is safe to assume that the majority of Grace's friends, who will be turning up for the party we are holding at my house, are local. Hence, it is also logical to assume that these children _enjoy _having pineapple and ham on their slice of pizza because it's what the locals eat."

"Gracie hates pineapple!" Danny exploded. He knew he'd lost, but he wasn't going to go down without a fight. _Pineapples, stupid pineapples!_

Steve grinned smugly at his partner. "She specifically asked for it. What did these innocent pineapples do to you anyway?"

"She what?" Danny stared incredulously at Steve. "Now I know you're making things up. She hates pineapple. She's always hated pineapple. Pineapple makes her sick, that's what she always says. Pineapple's icky."

"Well, she's obviously changed her mind." Steve picked a pineapple up and began cutting it.

Danny glared murderously at the offending fruit, as if he could eviscerate it with his glare alone. He grabbed his car keys where Steve had left it on the table and marched towards the door.

"Where're you going, Danno?" Steve asked, looking up.

"Going to pick up Grace from Rachel's," he grated out through clenched teeth. "Don't call me Danno."

"You're actually letting me win this one?" Steve replied, a grin splitting his face.

Danny stomped out the house and slammed the door.

* * *

><p>"Danno!" Grace cried, pigtails flying as she bounced towards him. He picked her up and hugged her tight.<p>

"Monkey! How was school? Are you ready for your birthday party?"

Grace nodded furiously as Danny opened the passenger door for her and she climbed in. She waited not so patiently for her father to slide into the driver's seat before exclaiming, "Uncle Steve's making pineapple pizza!"

Thankfully, Danny's foot had yet to find the accelerator. The Camaro would have shot embarrassingly into the rear of the Mercedes in front of them and Danny definitely couldn't afford the repairs.

"Pineapple pizza?" Danny asked, feigning ignorance. "Why'd you want that for? You hate pineapple." He pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards Steve's house.

"That was last time," Grace replied, as if her father was living in a different era from her and didn't understand the latest trends in food. "Pineapple pizza's different, Danno. Uncle Chin let me try some the last time I was at your office. It's awesome! Try some later, please, Danno?"

Grace turned her wide puppy dog eyes at her and Danny knew he was defeated. Mentally ripping Chin limb from limb, Danny put on his best smile and Grace practically beamed.

"Sure, monkey, but only if you bring it to me," he said as he began envisioning the torture he was going to subject Chin Ho Kelly to once the party was over and they were in a nice quiet place where no one could hear him scream.

"Awesome!" Grace said enthusiastically. "I'll get you the biggest slice there is!"

Danny's smile was frozen on his face as horror overtook him. _Oh God, what has this island done to my perfect little girl?_

Just then, his cell phone rang. Danny answered it on the third ring.

"Williams."

"_Hey Danny, it's Chin." _

"Chin!" Danny exclaimed. "How wonderful to hear from you!"There was a pause on the line as if Chin did not quite have any idea how to respond to that.

"_You okay, brah?"_

"I'm great, thank you so much for asking." He motioned for Grace to cover her ears. She did so with much amusement. After all, she could still hear him. "You," Danny hissed the moment she'd placed her hands over her ears. "I'm going to tear you limb from limb and garnish you with pineapple before feeding you to the sharks."

"_What?"_

"Pineapple on pizza, Chin. Remember? How you put that slice in my daughter's hand and made her eat it? It's evil, Chin. I should go there and arrest you."

"_It was Kono's idea." _Chin said immediately. There was a slap in the background and a few muffled thumps.

"_Whatever it was, it wasn't my idea," _Kono said breathlessly. In the background, Danny could hear Chin still fighting for the phone.

"You all ganging up on me now? That's nice, that's very nice."

"_We just wanted to know if you wanted us to bring anything," _Kono said, hastily changing the subject.

"Human food, if you don't mind. Food that proper human beings eat." Danny hung up. He turned into Steve's driveway with a frustrated groan.

"Can I move my hands now?" Grace said plaintively. She was practically vibrating with excitement.

"Yes, Monkey," Danny replied. He stepped out of the car and opened the door for her. She hopped out of the car and dashed to the door without even waiting for Danny. Danny huffed.

"Uncle Steve!" Grace hollered happily as Danny stepped into the kitchen. The pineapples had been cut into neat cubes and were sitting in a bowl on the table. Steve looked up as she ran to him and hugged him.

"Hello Gracie," Steve said, a wide grin on his face. "Want some pineapple?"

Danny growled. If possible, Steve's grinned widened.

"Go change out of your uniform, Gracie," Danny said, keeping his tone even as he glared at his partner. Grace happily complied as she bounced off to retrieve her bag from where she'd dropped it by the door. When she was safely out of earshot, Danny crossed the kitchen in two large strides and poked Steve in the chest.

"You," he growled, "have gone too far."

Steve looked like he was bursting a blood vessel trying not to laugh.

"_Detective _Williams," Steve said, his voice shaking slightly, "take another look at the things we got before jumping to conclusions. I'm going to go set up the tables on the lanai." He disappeared out the door.

Danny glared at his partner's retreating back before pulling the receipt out of his wallet.

Ham. _For the pizza, _Danny thought sourly.

Cheese.

Pepperoni.

Chicken wi-

_Pepperoni? _Danny's gaze darted upwards again as he read that one line. _Pepperoni. _Understanding dawned upon him.

Just then, giggles floated in from the lanai. Danny walked out of the kitchen and towards the lanai just as Grace exploded into a fit of laughter. Steve was crouched next to her, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Did you honestly think I'd be suicidal enough to force feed you Hawaiian pizza?" Steve asked as Grace plopped on the floor and laughed even harder. Listening to her delighted laughter, Danny knew he couldn't stay angry for long. He reached forward and hauled his partner off the floor by the collar.

"You are cruel," he said. "You are going to pay big time for this. You, Chin and Kono are going to suffer."

"I didn't like it at all, Danno!" Grace choked out as she got her laughter under control. "Pineapples are icky. But my friends like it so I asked Uncle Steve to make them. You and I can have proper pizza."

Danny's face split into a wide grin. He reached down and embraced Grace in a hug.

"That's my girl."

**Inspiration from this came from when I was standing in line at the supermarket checkout. The lady in front was taking longer than usual and when I took a peek at what she'd bought, I saw four pineapples sitting on the counter and my first thought was "Oh my God, Danny's gonna flip if he sees this."**

**Thanks for reading! (:**


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